People tend to experience intense, fluctuating emotions throughout the divorce process. Particularly when there are children in the family, it is common for adults to struggle with their decision to end a marriage. Sometimes, the reason one spouse files for divorce is that the other displays disordered behaviors. They may act like a narcissist. Narcissists and those with narcissistic traits prioritize their own happiness and reputation above all else. They tend to be controlling and manipulative.
Divorcing them may be a very complicated and exhausting process because they only care about themselves and their reputation. Particularly when there are children in the family, someone divorcing a spouse with narcissistic traits needs to understand what to expect.
Divorcing a narcissist can be quite challenging
A narcissist or someone with deep-seated narcissistic tendencies may devalue someone who used to be important to them when they can no longer control that person. It is quite common for divorces related to narcissistic behavior to involve very aggressive and abusive conduct on the part of the narcissistic spouse. They may use the legal system to abuse their spouse.
They may use their natural charisma and intelligence to manipulate attorneys, mediators and any other professionals involved in the divorce process. The spouse attempting to leave the narcissist likely needs to document things carefully and avoid disclosing much of their strategy, as their spouse is unlikely to play by the rules or behave in an ethical manner during the divorce process.
It is often necessary to make use of the formal divorce process for optimal protection, as narcissists may be able to manipulate an out-of-court settlement to their advantage. Someone facing the stress of a divorce involving a narcissist may need mental health support to cope with their stress and to heal from the damage the relationship caused them.
The children are particularly vulnerable
A narcissist who has lost control of their spouse may quickly come to realize that their children are an important form of leverage. They may intentionally say things intended to upset or destabilize the children, such as lying about the circumstances that led to the divorce. They may also try to manipulate the children into resenting the other parent or say things intended to bully and intimidate that parent into compliance.
A parent hoping to protect their children while divorcing a narcissist may need to get them into therapy so that they have a safe place to talk about what they experience and process their emotions. In more extreme cases, it may be necessary to limit a narcissist’s access to the children because their manipulative behavior could cause psychological harm.
The right support and legal advocacy can make a major difference for those preparing to end a marriage to a spouse with narcissistic traits. Making the protection of one’s children and the fairness of the outcome top priorities can help people focus on their long-term happiness and financial recovery during what could be a contentious and frustrating divorce process.
