When people who have minor children divorce, they are often anxious about the impact the process could have on their children. Young people often struggle to handle their emotions when their parents divorce. They may lash out through the bad behavior or may start having issues at school.
Sometimes, parents intentionally wait until children have reached adulthood to divorce. Other times, the children leaving the home might put pressure on the relationship between the parents. No longer having the children around to act as a buffer or a source of bonding might negatively affect the marriage.
Parents whose children have already left for college or started families of their own may take for granted that they can handle their own feelings about an upcoming gray divorce. They may fail to recognize how damaging divorce can be for adult children.
Adult children may still have financial needs
College students and those attending graduate school may rely on their parents for financial support. The economic strain caused by divorce could diminish how much financial assistance parents can provide their children.
In some cases, parents may provide free babysitting for their grandchildren, which they may need to scale back due to the stress of the divorce. The changing economic and familial circumstances can have negative implications for adult children who have left the family home.
Adult children may react strongly
Being older does not necessarily eliminate emotional reactions to parental divorce. In fact, psychological research indicates that the opposite is true. Children still living with their parents when they divorce are often desperate to retain relationships with both parents.
Adult children may be more likely to blame one parent for the downfall of the marriage. They may experience a major disruption to their sense of self. In some cases, they intentionally disconnect from the entire extended family unit. Other times, they may cut off one of their parents because they blame them for the divorce.
Parents preparing for a gray divorce may need to employ caution when discussing the matter with their adult children and may want to keep the conflict levels as low as possible throughout the divorce for the benefit of the entire family unit. Recognizing that gray divorce can be challenging for the entire family may help older parents avoid the worst possible side effects of this process.
